A selection of Blonde jokes, funny or not?
Question: A selection of Blonde jokes, funny or not?
Golf Balls
A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls, and sat down next to of all people a beautiful, you guessed it, blonde. The blonde kept looking quizzically at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, “It’s golf balls.”
Never-the-less, the blonde continued to look at him thought-fully and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked, “Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?”
Parked Car
Norman and his blonde wife live in Calgary. One winter morning while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, “We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through.”
Norman’s wife goes out and moves her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says “We are expecting 10 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through.”
Norman’s wife goes out and moves her car again.
The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says, “We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must par-” then the electric power goes out.
Norman’s wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, “Honey, I don’t know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplow can get through?”
With the love and understanding in his voice like all men who are married to blondes exhibit, Norman says “Why don’t you just leave it in the garage this time?”
Jumpers
A police officer arrives at an accident scene where apparently three blondes have leaped to their death from a very tall building.
Suddenly, the officer notices that one is still breathing so he approaches her and asks, “Why did you three beautiful girls leap out of that building?”
The blonde answers in a very weak voice, “We wanted to try out our new maxi-pads, with wings…”
Dummy
A ventriloquist is touring clubs in Florida. With his dummy on his knees, he’s going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the audience stands on her chair and shouts, “I’ve heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What does the color of a person’s hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It’s guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and from reaching our full potential!”
The embarrassed ventriloquist starts to apologize, when the blonde yells, “You stay out of this, mister! I’m talking to that little b@stard sitting on your knee!”
Answer:
Answer by oh em gee:]
hehe funny:D
Can you guys please rate these funny jokes??? please??
Question: Can you guys please rate these funny jokes??? please??
1st :
One day there was a big lady swimming at the beach when she noticed that she had lost her top. She thought that no one would notice if she covered herself with her arms and walked overto her towel. Then a little girl came running up to her.
“If you’re going to drown those puppies, at least let me have the one with the cute little pink nose.”
2nd:
husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the woman asked, “Honey, if I died would you get married again?”
The man said, “No dear.”
The woman said, “I’m sure you would.”
So the man said, “Okay, I would”
Then the woman asked, “Would you let her sleep in our bed?”
And the man replied, “Ya, I guess so.”
Then the woman asked, “Would you let her use my golf clubs?”
And the man replied, “No, she’s left handed.”
and if you are lvl 2, please rate the THUMBS UP or THUMBS DOWN please….
Its at the bottom of the the question..
THANKS
Answer:
Answer by hi123
a 6 for both of them
Have Ye Heard these here Blonde Jokes before?
Question: Have Ye Heard these here Blonde Jokes before?
Disclaimer:These jokes are only jokes. They are not about you, your Mom/Dad or grandma/Grandpa, or aunt/Uncle or girl/boy friend, or sister/brother, or wife/husband, or lover. They are no one you know. So do not get in a fit and report these jokes. These jokes are for laughing at. If you do not like them, then just mosey on by to the next set of jokes.
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The Blonde Stewardess
An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess; the route they were flying had a stay-over in another city. Upon their arrival the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day’s route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up, wondering what happened to her.
She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn’t get out of her room.
“You can’t get out of your room?” the captain asked, “Why not?”
The stewardess replied: “There are only three doors in here,” she sobbed, “one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says ‘Do Not Disturb’!”
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Blonde’s Green Golf Ball
A blonde golfer goes into the pro shop and looks around frowning.
Finally the pro askes her what she wants. “I can’t find any green golf balls,” the blonde golfer complains.
The pro looks all over the shop, and through all the catalogs, and finally calls the manufacturers and determines that sure enough, there are no green golf balls.
As the blonde golfer walks out the door in disgust, the pro asks her, “Before you go, could you tell me why you want green golf balls?”
“Well obviously, because they would be so much easier to find in the sand traps!”A blonde golfer goes into the pro shop and looks around frowning.
Finally the pro askes her what she wants. “I can’t find any green golf balls,” the blonde golfer complains.
The pro looks all over the shop, and through all the catalogs, and finally calls the manufacturers and determines that sure enough, there are no green golf balls.
As the blonde golfer walks out the door in disgust, the pro asks her, “Before you go, could you tell me why you want green golf balls?”
“Well obviously, because they would be so much easier to find in the sand traps!”
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Blonde Got the 4th Child
He fills data in the birth certificate “Mother: Blonde. Father: Blonde. Kid: Chinese.”
“How come you write “Chinese” when both parents are Blonde?”
“Aah, I read it in the newspaper”,Blonde says
“Every 4th person born on the Earth now is a Chinese.
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Blonde’s Best Kept Secret
At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy.
‘No woman can keep a secret.’ said one man.
‘I don’t know about that,’ answered a blonde woman guest. ‘I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one.’
‘You’ll let it out some day,’ the man insisted.
‘I hardly think so!’ responded the blonde lady. ‘When a woman has kept a secret for twenty-seven years, she can keep it forever.’
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Answer:
Answer by wowza-
Im blonde and ive heard lots of them, but not those, there good actually. I love blonde jokes xD they make me laugh =)
Some funny little jokes for you?
Question: Some funny little jokes for you?
Tiger woods came up to me the other day and said “i want to talk to you about putting supper glue on my golf club”. I said “you just cant let it go can you”.
A market researcher phoned me the other day and asked “can i ask you 10 quick questons?”, so i agreed . She said ” question number 1, do you ever suffer from blackouts” so i said “no”. She then said “ok finaly question number 10″
I went to my girlfriends house for a romantic candle lit dinner the other day, so everything was under cooked
I bought my girlfriend a huge helium balloon for her birthday but it didnt go down very well
So I walked passed a shop the other day and the sign in the window said ” tv for sale only £1 volume stuck on high”. So i thought i cant turn that down.
I was in the butchers today and the and the guy said “i bet you £200 you cant reach those bits of meat up there”. I said “no way, the stakes are too high”.
So a police officer came to my school the other day and gave us a talk on drugs so i couldnt understand a word of it
I walked into a record shop the other day and asked “what hav you got by the doors” and the guy said ” a bucket of sand and a fire blanket”.
I bought some velcro ther other and that stuff is a complete rip off
Coffee is for mugs
Answer:
Answer by eye 1der
Lol, I really like the 2nd 1, and the 1 about the cop 
Anyone want to hear a few golfing jokes?
Question: Anyone want to hear a few golfing jokes?
husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a heart attack! “Help me dear,” she groans to her husband.
The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few minutes, picks up his putter, and lines up his putt.
His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him. “I’m dying here and you’re putting?”
“Don’t worry dear,” says the husband calmly, “they found a doctor on the second hole and he’s coming to help you.”
“Well, how long will it take for him to get here,” she asks feebly?
“No time at all,” says her husband. “Everybody’s already agreed to let him play through.”
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A gushy reporter told Phil Michelson, “You are spectacular, your name is synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the course. What’s your secret?”
Michelson replied, “The holes are numbered”
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A young man and a priest are playing together. At a short par-3 the priest asks, “What are you going to use on this hole my son?”
The young man says, “An 8-iron, father. How about you?”
The priest says, “I’m going to hit a soft seven and pray.”
The young man hits his 8-iron and puts the ball on the green. The priest tops his 7-iron and dribbles the ball out a few yards.
The young man says, “I don’t know about you father, but in my church, when we pray, we keep our head down.”
———– ——- ————
Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 5-iron standing over a lifeless man.
The detective asks, “Ma’am, is that your husband?”
“Yes “says the woman.
“Did you hit him with that golf club?”
Yes, yes, I did..”
The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her, hands on her face.
“How many times did you hit him?”
“I don’t know, five, six, maybe seven times……just put me down for a five.”
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A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees.
He found his ball and saw an opening between two trees he thought he could hit through.
Taking out his 3-wood, he took a mighty swing. The ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him.
As he approached the gates of Heaven , St. Peter asked, “Are you a good golfer?”
The man replied: “Got here in two, didn’t I?”
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The bride was escorted down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.
She said: “What are your golf clubs doing here?”
He looked her right in the eye and said, “This isn’t going to take all day, is it?”
Answer:
Answer by Fairytots
Cheers for that!