“Testimonies” – Do you find these funny?
Question: “Testimonies” – Do you find these funny?
True situations.
FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, “How much do you charge for a shampoo and a ********?” I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn’t say a word…he knew better.
SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women’s type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who work at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, “I think I like playing with men’s balls.”
THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, “No, I’m just looking at your nuts.” My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my Sister has never let me forget.
FOURTH TESTIMONY:
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving “right now” she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, “If you don’t let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy’s pee-pee last night!” The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.
FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a particular question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so, of course, I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then, I realized that Danny hadnot asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said “No”. I kept thinking, “Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don’t have any clothes with me.” Then I said, “Danny, are you SURE you didn’t have an accident?” “No,” he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, “Danny, did you have an accident?” This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled, “SEE MOM, IT’S JUST FARTS!!”While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they’d ever had!
LAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow-but don’t get any….a true story. We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn’t, turned to the weatherman and asked: So Bob, where’s that 8 inches you promised me last night?” Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
Answer:
Answer by Katelyn
OMG these are hilarious 
i like the 5th one though 
haha
How much are these Tommy Armour Beryllium Copper golf clubs worth?
Question: How much are these Tommy Armour Beryllium Copper golf clubs worth?
I am having a very difficult time finding details on the clubs I own and would like to sell. They were made in the same era as the highly sought after Ping BeCu clubs, but you can find quite of few of those for sale on eBay as well as discussions online.
This is what I see on the clubs:
- “Tommy Armour” on the bottom of the club along with the club # (2, 3, etc.)
- it is a full set from 2-10(PW) and a SW
- In the club cavity the wording”T-Line” and “Designer’s Model”
- Graphite shafts.
- not sure about the grips, could be original or could be re-gripped.
- I am the 2nd owner as far as I know. I purchased them in 1992 from a PGA professional.
I am not nearly good enough to be playing these clubs and want to sell them, but I have no clue on their value. I do know it is difficult to find them or even information on them, so I would classify them as “rare”.
Any help is appreciated! -king4adayor2
Answer:
Answer by Eldonado
Check the PGA Value Guide, which contains compiled eBay sales data (and trade in values from other sources) for a wide variety of golf clubs brands and models. You may find the info you’re looking for there. Link below.
Can you guess these movies?
Question: Can you guess these movies?
Guess the movies from the following quotations.
1. “He thinks he’s Ethel Merman.”
2. “If you want to bless ‘em, sister, you bless ‘em dry!”
3. “I didn’t get a ‘harumph!’ out of that guy!”
4. “Heroes? What do they know about a day’s work!”
5. “A hundred bucks says I can get us a rainout for tomorrow.”
6. “I told them a story. You play games? I told them a story.”
7. “If I’m here, and you’re here; doesn’t that make it ‘our’ time?”
8. “Here I am! Here I am! Here I f-cking am!”
9. “I know, it’s nothing but how often do you get to go to Tokyo with your golf clubs?”
10. “It’s not my fault for being the biggest and the strongest. I don’t even exercise.”
.
1. Airplane!
2. Two Mules for Siser Sara
3. Blazing Saddles
4. Time Bandits
5. Bull Durham
6. Three Days of the Condor
7. Fast Times at Ridgemont High
8. Streets of Fire
9. M*A*S*H
10. The Princess Bride
.
Answer:
Answer by Melissa
1. Airplane!
2.
3. Blazing Saddles
4. Time Bandits
5. Bull Duram
6. Three Days of the Condor
7. Fast Times at Ridgemont High
8.
9. M*A*S*H the movie
10. Princess Bride
Read MoreCan you guys please rate these funny jokes??? please??
Question: Can you guys please rate these funny jokes??? please??
1st :
One day there was a big lady swimming at the beach when she noticed that she had lost her top. She thought that no one would notice if she covered herself with her arms and walked overto her towel. Then a little girl came running up to her.
“If you’re going to drown those puppies, at least let me have the one with the cute little pink nose.”
2nd:
husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the woman asked, “Honey, if I died would you get married again?”
The man said, “No dear.”
The woman said, “I’m sure you would.”
So the man said, “Okay, I would”
Then the woman asked, “Would you let her sleep in our bed?”
And the man replied, “Ya, I guess so.”
Then the woman asked, “Would you let her use my golf clubs?”
And the man replied, “No, she’s left handed.”
and if you are lvl 2, please rate the THUMBS UP or THUMBS DOWN please….
Its at the bottom of the the question..
THANKS
Answer:
Answer by hi123
a 6 for both of them
Have Ye Heard these here Blonde Jokes before?
Question: Have Ye Heard these here Blonde Jokes before?
Disclaimer:These jokes are only jokes. They are not about you, your Mom/Dad or grandma/Grandpa, or aunt/Uncle or girl/boy friend, or sister/brother, or wife/husband, or lover. They are no one you know. So do not get in a fit and report these jokes. These jokes are for laughing at. If you do not like them, then just mosey on by to the next set of jokes.
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The Blonde Stewardess
An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess; the route they were flying had a stay-over in another city. Upon their arrival the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day’s route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up, wondering what happened to her.
She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn’t get out of her room.
“You can’t get out of your room?” the captain asked, “Why not?”
The stewardess replied: “There are only three doors in here,” she sobbed, “one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says ‘Do Not Disturb’!”
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Blonde’s Green Golf Ball
A blonde golfer goes into the pro shop and looks around frowning.
Finally the pro askes her what she wants. “I can’t find any green golf balls,” the blonde golfer complains.
The pro looks all over the shop, and through all the catalogs, and finally calls the manufacturers and determines that sure enough, there are no green golf balls.
As the blonde golfer walks out the door in disgust, the pro asks her, “Before you go, could you tell me why you want green golf balls?”
“Well obviously, because they would be so much easier to find in the sand traps!”A blonde golfer goes into the pro shop and looks around frowning.
Finally the pro askes her what she wants. “I can’t find any green golf balls,” the blonde golfer complains.
The pro looks all over the shop, and through all the catalogs, and finally calls the manufacturers and determines that sure enough, there are no green golf balls.
As the blonde golfer walks out the door in disgust, the pro asks her, “Before you go, could you tell me why you want green golf balls?”
“Well obviously, because they would be so much easier to find in the sand traps!”
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Blonde Got the 4th Child
He fills data in the birth certificate “Mother: Blonde. Father: Blonde. Kid: Chinese.”
“How come you write “Chinese” when both parents are Blonde?”
“Aah, I read it in the newspaper”,Blonde says
“Every 4th person born on the Earth now is a Chinese.
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Blonde’s Best Kept Secret
At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy.
‘No woman can keep a secret.’ said one man.
‘I don’t know about that,’ answered a blonde woman guest. ‘I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one.’
‘You’ll let it out some day,’ the man insisted.
‘I hardly think so!’ responded the blonde lady. ‘When a woman has kept a secret for twenty-seven years, she can keep it forever.’
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Answer:
Answer by wowza-
Im blonde and ive heard lots of them, but not those, there good actually. I love blonde jokes xD they make me laugh =)